I think it was a Friday night at my my HQ. It must have been my round cause I went over to the bar to get the boys a round of drinks. That is when I noticed Janice and her friend sitting in at the corner of the bar…yeah I know..cliche. They weren’t saying much to each other, they seemed to be watching the people.
Blade: “…what are you two doing?..whos boyfriend are you casing? “
Janice: “ excuse me?..”
Blade: “ you seem to be watching people…its kinda creepy. I’m curious. “
Janice: “…Creepy” *puzzled*
I then went on to explain that I am fascinated by creepy chicks and that two girls drinking wine in lovely cocktail dresses at the corner of the bar just watching people was quite curious. I explained that I consider myself a bit of a social anthropologist and this would be a great case study.
Janice: “ social anthropologist..like an amateur…interesting. We are psychology interns. We are just watching people..it’s part of our exercise”
We were at the tipping point in our conversation here. I had to come up with something interesting enough for me to stay and talk to these two or I would have to bail and deliver the round of drinks to the boys. She had attitude…I liked the challenge. She was also clearly the alpha female of the two as she hardly gave her friend a chance to speak even though I directed certain sentences to her. She was enjoying the interaction, it was her chance to “shoot that cocky random dude down”. Obviously felt she was more qualified to use the term “social anthropology” …judging from the posh way she added the word amateur to her retort.
Not to blow my own horn, I knew exactly what to do here. I been doing this shit for years. She was testing me.
Blade: “bullshit…I know what’s going on here. It’s February and you two are first year interns…you live/work in the southern suburbs…you decided to come to check out this side of town..but you don’t know anyone here…you both are dressed to kill…so you were hoping to meet interesting people.”
They are both laughing at this point. Some of the stuff I mentioned were true and some very close. They were in there for the first time, they went out for a couple drinks to celebrate their first week as interns. They weren’t completely closed to meeting new interesting people outside of their student world. They were working professionals now…they felt they needed to check out where the pros hang out. My HQ was recommended to them.
Blade: “ … I am the most interesting individual you will meet tonight. True story.”
Sometimes it’s better to just proclaim it..and it shall be so.
I had reason to believe it because I was the only guy that approached them.
I delivered the drinks and later came back to them. We talked at length about just arb stuff. Smart interesting and funny.
Alas, I had to leave, I got both their numbers , said my goodbyes and missioned of with the boys we had business elsewhere.
Early winter... later that year. I’m at the HQ again, suited up chilling with the boys and some American tourist girls we had met earlier that year. The bar is crowded…I’m having a chat to Miss Chicago when I accidentally bump Janice.
I had forgotten who she was yet her face looked familiar. She had the same puzzled look on her face. I asked if we had met before..
Janice: “ yes…you’re the social anthropology guy”
I still couldn’t remember. Lots of people know I do this social anthropology thing. After further interrogation I remembered. But unfortunately I confused her for her friend…she wasn’t impressed.
Janice: “ why are you suited up?…what is the occasion?”
MissChicago : “…I’ve noticed he wears a suit most times we go out “
Blade: “…its Friday..”
We went on to have a great time that night, talking shit..laughing at stuff until we parted ways again.
The strange thing about Janice is that the same thing kept happening over the next YEAR in a similar pattern.
Meet Randomly.
I recognise her but forget her name.
She reminds me.
We share a drink and conversation.
We part ways.
She Invites me to a party, I decline..can’t make it
I invite her to bowling…she declines..can’t make it
I got to say I quite like it.
At our last encounter I did try to take her out for an ice-cream of coffee but she resisted. My assumption is that she has a boyfriend.
But something tells me we shall meet again.
Its these random little encounters with people that I enjoy. People you would have never actually have met if you did not take that first step to get to meet them.
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I loved this post. Everything about it. The way you wrote it, the content, and the story – It’s all pretty awesome. Your methods are incredible. I still have very little confidence in going up to someone and starting up like that. But this post makes me want to.
one of the most difficult things i ever had to do was to approach random strangers and introduce myself.
its not natural and doesn’t feel like it..at least the first few dozen times you do it.
Even now for me, its not an easy thing to do. It is however much easier than it was before..why..confidence in my experience.
here are a few tips.(I still do this)
set 1 day where the whole point is to meet people.
you will need to warm up. so during your day, strike up small talk with people you meet and interact with..talk about the weather..sports..whatever..just as long as you are chatting.
this should get you in the vibe.
Then perhaps later that afternoon step it up a notch…talk for longer and about less generic topics…topics that you are genuinely interested in. keep doing this consistently, you will find yourself getting desensitized to approach anxiety.
A great exit strategy also helps calm the nerves. Being able to exit the conversation without the awkwardness caused by not having anything else to say is pretty helpful.
Ultimately the only way to make it happen is to make it happen.
BOOM
this happened again on Wednesday
she is a lovely lass indeed
Very interesting tiger. One word comes to mind – serendipity
thanks man
you just reminded me to text her.
doing it right now.
another thing, all good comedians are basically social anthropologists