What do women mean when they say I want a “real man”?
A real man is a universal desire among women. Women all over the world all across all ages and incomes are looking for the same thing and they describe it in basically the same way.
What exactly is a REAL MAN? and why do they use these words to describe him in this way?
What do they not want?
Well to begin with i believe they do not want a wussy. women, especially attractive desirable women that have choices, are used to men chasing after them, kissing up to them and demonstrating that they believe the woman is a rare and valuable prize.
When a guy calls too often, shares his feelings too soon or too much. Tries to buy her attention and affection with gifts dinners favors and generally puts his own life , self respect and needs aside for a woman, he is a wussy.
This is the opposite of a real man.
A real man has his own life together, he has his act together. Sure he would like to a beautiful intelligent woman to enjoy time with but he doesn’t need it.
and when he meets and interacts with attractive women he demonstrates in every little way that he is comfortable with himself and he is comfortable with women.
He holds and carries like he owns the entire city he lives in.
When he makes eye contact with a woman he doesn’t look away instantly out of nervous self-consiousness, instead he keeps looking as if to say “i see something that might interest me, let me take a moment to consider it.”
He is cool and calm at all times.
His movements are just a little slower than those of other men.
Everything about him suggests that he doesn’t need to hurry because things are going to work out the way he wants in the end anyway.
A real man communicates with attractive women in a way that confuses them and exites them at the same time. because he is so un-unselfconscious and he is not looking for a womans approval he says things that are totally unexpected.
A real man isn’t afraid to say whats on his mind or make fun of a woman just because he feels like it. its obvious that he is being who he is and this easy grace and lack of insecurities about himself are magnetic.
He is respectful and yet brutality honest.
He is not apologetic or overly eager to say he is sorry especially because he knows how to handle his life in such a way that he doesn’t create problems by being immature , late , dishonest or otherwise flakey .
He is spontaneous but responsible.
He isn’t afraid to speak his mind or have an opinion.
He doesn’t live his life to please anyone , parents friends and especially women.
He never acts or communicates that he is a victim.
A REAL MAN is what every woman wants, but he is so rare that many women doubt that they will ever find him.
- David D Angelo
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well…..let me just say this. I am a woman, and if any man treats me like that he will definitely not be labelled a real man in my books. I’d think him a coward for refusing to express emotion, admit when he’s wrong and not saying what he really feels. I’d also think him vain for thinking he can’t do anything wrong or childish and that we think a real man doesn’t excist. I know plenty of “real men” and they certainly don’t agree with your definition of one
I do agree with some of your sentiment. the image presented is rather exaggerated. But, take a look at it from the point of view of a guy thats a total wuss. you kinda have to exaggerate the image because its so alien to a guy like that.
Its a complex duality, a man who has to hold his own with a woman yet give in an the same time.
btw your blog link doesn’t work. how did ya find this?
there, now it should work. I still don’t agree with you. A real man is a balanced individual and certainly doesn’t have to move slower or pretend to be anything…they can just be themselves, be a gentleman.
That is a perfect description of an arrogant asshole of a man, the unfortunate truth (open to debate, it’s the truth for me regardless) is that real women would not be attracted to this asshole. Besides that, this is the kind of smooth man that is looking for a trophy, not a relationship……
Nice guys are exactly that…only nice and does not show a woman that he is a SAM (Sexually Aware Man) in fear of upsetting her. So, he ends up as just a “friend” and not a potential lover, becaue his approach from the beginning was not quite correct. That’s where ONLY nice guys end up. Ouch! I agree with David D.
Johannes
South Africa
Sorry to rehash an old post, but have to add my 2 cents here…
I agree with Ruby, but I also think that some of David D’s points stand. The confidence, being your own man and other aspects are important, but I have met more than a couple guys who take this too far and make it very clear that they don’t really give a shit and they are manly men and that’s just the way it has to be.
In fact, I was almost ruined by one of these ‘real men’ not too long ago, and he fits this profile to to a T. He was totally unable to reveal any weaknesses whatsoever, was so brutally honest that it hurt, pleasing anyone (especially me) was not a priority, things worked out the way HE wanted them in the end, he will never, ever say sorry and he is the furthest thing from a wussy ever.
REAL ‘real men’ can be self-assured, and strong, and not throw themselves at chicks, while still being decent blokes. They can have emotions and show them, because they know it doesn’t make them any less of a man to have feelings.
It’s a fine balance, but just being a normal guy is what women really want. Just don’t sms us 20 times a night when you’re drunk, or make a tit out of yourselves, and you’ll be fine.
finding the right balance between confidence and arrogance is a mans daily battle.
you want to be as you say” your own man” but you don’t want to sacrifice being a gentleman.
in my experience, for men that are extremely unconfident with women i normally recommend they go to the extreme. if you tell them do something at 50% they normally only go 25% of the way.Hence the exaggerated “Real Man”.
Aah, I see now.
Still – you don’t want to start creating a batch of monsters, hehe.
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i want to learn the game where do i start
keep reading this blog.
there is loads of material online too