Hey Mr Nice guy
I know I’m the last person you expected to hear from.
Before you hit the delete button, read this.
You are neither my friend nor my enemy. I have no interest in your fortune or misfortune.
For some reason I felt compelled to write to you in the hope that it would open up your eyes to what’s before you.
You are probably really pissed off at me for what happened last night. I took the girl of your dreams home with me. You are probably even more enraged at the fact that she let me and you know she loved it. Its gonna SUCK when you get that phone call from her telling you about me and how “great” I am. When we are over, you’re the one she’s calling to help pick up the pieces. The worst thing is….all this has happened before and will happen again.
I asked her about you this morning. She was a little hesitant to talk about you but after a couple of spoonfuls of ice cream and nibbles in the right places she spilt the beans.
She then told me your story.
She told me she thought you were an attractive guy but she didn’t find you attractive and that you don’t understand what this means. I’ll translate, you got no sex appeal.
She said she enjoyed your company but she didn’t find you challenging you always agree with her point of view and either don’t have your own or are scared of airing your point of view strongly.
You never take the lead. You’re supposed to be the man yet you act like one of her girlfriends.
She loves the fact that you put her on a pedestal but the pressure does get too much to handle sometimes.
There was a time that she thought about you two as a couple, she dropped hints and signals but you didn’t pick them up. You kept waiting for more signals because you were unsure of yourself. A big turn off for her.
She hates the fact that she finds you so predictable.
Your mind is always on things to come, almost never in the present and in the moment with her.
She says it’s as though you sometimes try to be someone you think she will like, instead of just being you and not giving a fuck about what people think.
She said plenty more things about you that I don’t have time to get into.
If she’s a smart girl like you seem to think, well then I’m just temporary and she’ll soon get over me, or i’ll get tired of her…whichever comes first.
She’ll probably sms to come over to my place a couple times to help me “find the stationery”. She doesn’t SMS you because you’ll probably ask “What kind of stationary?”
She won’t introduce me to her mom. She knows I’m not the guy that can father her kids…just the guy she likes to practice making them with.
To put it frankly, YOU’RE the guy that she needs. IM the guy she wants.
Your Mr Right but not Mr Right Now, that title has been reserved for me.
I’m an asshole and I make no apologies for who I am. You either like me or hate me, that’s your issue. It makes no difference to me and more importantly it does fukol to improve your situation.
You don’t have to be me to get her. You can’t be me … even if you tried …you don’t have it in you.
She wants pieces of you, the security, the stability and the commitment but she doesn’t want to lose the pieces of me, the adventure, excitement and unpredictability.
If you want to stand a chance against guys like me in the future you now have the information you need.
I’ve just told you things she wishes she could tell you but is too afraid to let you know because…”you’re so sensitive“ and she might lose your friendship.
Think of me as your man on the “inside” ;P
There two ways you can process the contents of this letter.
You can either fester a hate for me for corrupting “your” innocent flower (which she isn’t… trust me), keep on hating me and her for making you feel the way you are feeling right now.
You can take what I’ve just told you and critically view yourself. You know…the old lemon into lemonade thing.
Well, I’ve done my good deed for the month.
She’s looking for more stationery…I got to go.
See you later masturbator.
The Asshole AKA The Inside(he)r