Solid Game

Name: Rox
Blog url: http://www.roxilla.co.za
Location: Cape Town
Age: 28
Status: Single

“Having expectations, and making assumptions. Dates should be about having fun and getting to know the other person, and the impression made on the first date is what will get you the second. ”

It’s generally accepted that pickup lines don’t work, what works for you?

An honest, easy approach is always good. Guys that smile, make a bit of eye contact, chat and act relaxed usually get my attention. Once things are going nicely, offer a tequila or drink and have a fun time continuing the chat.

Have you ever made the first move?

If I see a guy that that looks interesting I will first see if I can get his attention by either going to the bar next to him, or see if I catch his eye. Generally though, if he doesn’t react I give up. If he does react and start chatting, then I just play it by ear and see what happens. I don’t ever throw myself in the firing line though – it’s all about signals!

How do you normally tell if a guy is interested or into you?

Ah, this is where those all-important signals come in. Smiles, especially naughty smiles, eye contact and body language are the key signals I look out for. The thing is, almost all men give out signals without realising it, so it’s also important to note other stuff like has he left his friends to chat to me, does he seem happy to hang with me, is he laughing at my jokes (he should be), is he buying more drinks, and generally, does it look like he’s having fun. From then on, it’s up to him to make a move, or not.

Here is an age old question. How soon should he call after you exchanged contact details?

This varies from the same night to a couple of days later. If I meet a great guy and there are big sparks, and he texts me later that night or early the next morning, it’s nice to know he’s thinking of me. It’s also cool to get a message or call in the week, but I lose interest if nothing happens in a week or so. Sometimes, and I hate to say this, but I give me number and I’m not really keen. If that happens, I will always be upfront and just say that I had fun, but that I’m not really looking for anything. I’ve ended up being friends with a few of the no-go’s, and there’s no reason why it should be awkward unless you make it awkward.

What is your ideal first date event?

I’m very low-maintenance, and I like hanging out, so I enjoy going to the beach for sundowners just as much as drinks or dinner somewhere smart (or even the Spur, it really doesn’t phase me), or even going for a run.

What in your opinion is the biggest mistake that people make on a first date?

Having expectations, and making assumptions. Dates should be about having fun and getting to know the other person, and the impression made on the first date is what will get you the second. It shouldn’t be a big deal, and having one date isn’t the same as actually dating.

Can you tell us about your worst dating experience?

I’m fairly lucky, I haven’t really had any very awful dates. The only real issues that ever crop up have been my date getting drunk, or boring the hell of me, and sometimes I don’t really feel that there’s a connection, and it’s a bit kak having to turn down another date and just be friends.

What’s the worst thing you have done to impress a guy?

When I was younger I used to worry too much about what guys thought, and I was a bit naive. I called a guy once or twice, and regretted it big time! Now I don’t really care much – I will be myself, and if the guy likes me, I’ll let him know I’m interested, but if he’s not keen, then too bad.

What’s the worst thing a guy has done to impress you?

Some guys have made the mistake of thinking that flash cars and riches impress me. Big mistake! I don’t really give a shit about status or pretentiousness, and hearing guys talk about how cool they are bores me to death. Tattoos, smiles, friendliness, charm and a sense of humour (or all of those factors) are almost guaranteed to impress me however.

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