Approaching a group of random strangers in a club can be quite stressful. You are putting yourself out there, setting yourself up for rejection. It is always so much easier when she is the one that approaches you but ho often does this happen?
It is your job as a man to approach. If you do not approach then you do not stand a chance at all.
Fortunately this stress can be managed. We manage this by first understanding the situation and having a plan, a strategy. There are a few things that are quite important to know and understand before you go for the approach.
She is prepared to meet someone
Most single women might tell you that they are not really looking for a man when they go out, they are just out to have a good time with friends. This is true. But when asked if they are open to meeting someone interesting and fun they probably wont tell you no. So why not be that guy?
A woman on average spends at least 1.5 to 2 hours preparing to head out. Matching shoes, handbag jewelry, doing up her hair etc. All this effort just to look good and in the off chance that she might meet someone charming interesting and fun.
She will most likely be in a group (a Set)
Beautiful women travel in groups, called a Set or Mixed Set, when they go out. So your approach strategy needs to involve the entire group.
Most guys tend to make the mistake of only addressing just his Target ( the woman that hes perusing ) When you approach a group you are immediately a stranger, and when a stranger is trying to get the attentions of 1 of the members of the set the rest of the set will automatically defend her. They become your blockers.
So when approaching be sure to befriend the entire set first.
Prepare an opener / conversation initiator.
An opener is just a simple statement or question that initiates a chat.
Here is one of my favorite openers:
“Me: hey guys, I wanna ask you something, really quickly, I got to get back to my friends.
have you guys ever googled yourselves? “
This opener addresses the whole group, its non threatening hence there is nothing for them to block. It subtly conveys to them that I’m not there to stay and its an interesting question that I am genuinely interested in.
Perfect to get them chatting and enables you to convey a bit of your personality.
We shall go over the anatomy of an opener in a separate article.
Prepare an exit strategy
When starting out with regular approaches, you are going to be nervous and anxious. This is normal, it should normalize with the more sets you approach and the more confident you become.
But before this happens you need to prepare an exit.
Rather leave on a high and polite note.
A simple statement like “cool…see you around..” delivered after your opener, when you find that you are running out of things to say.
Don’t exit too soon, if you feel that you have run out of things to say, stick around at least for another 10 seconds. This is important as it pushes your social boundaries and conditions you to be comfortable in uncomfortable social situations.
Dont get invested in the outcome
A lot of guys that manage to approach always get there expecting something to happen. Letting go of your agendas. Sure you have a particular girl in the group that you are interested in, but it shouldn’t be the end of the world if this doesn’t happen.
Letting go if your agenda frees you up to enjoy the interaction. Women can smell an agenda from a mile away. Especially women of beauty that get hit on many times a day.
Not investing in the outcome means that you have nothing to loose, you don’t come off as desperate and and needy.
You are offering them an opportunity to meet you.
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