There is an unwritten law between bros. One that is just generally understood. It’s a code of conduct , code of ethics. Commonly referred to as “The Bro Code” or “The Man Law”
Here is a story that happened to a bro of mine last week. But at the end of the story I’d like you to offer your opinion on several points.
The Background
Pacman met a The Girl a couple of weeks ago. They hit It off immediately. She went along great with his friends they seemed to have common interests and all that jazz.
Pacman really liked her and obviously conveyed this sentiment to his bros.
Douchebag Dave was the first of his bros to know this.
They had been seeing each other for about 2 weeks now, nothing official, just testing the waters.
Things seemed to be progressing in the right direction.
Fast forward to the night in question.
The Night
Pacman and her are at a pub with the boys, Douchbag Dave included.
Dave is spotted with his hand on The girls butt. No protest from the girl. This is not considered strange, perhaps odd., Dave is one of the Bros…right
Dave is spotted rubbing on the girls back…ok this is strange.
Towards the end of the night, festivities are still on for a good couple of hours. Dave begins to say his goodbyes…so early in the night
A few seconds later…The Girl too begins to say her goodbyes.
They (Dave and The girl ) climb into a taxi and disappear down the street.
Pacman is left with a puzzled look on his face and a confused group of drunk bros.
The Reaction.
Pacman is one of those cool easygoing chaps. This is one of the things I like about him. He didn’t get enraged and throw a fit. He was clearly disappointed. I think his bros showed more emotion at the events.
The Bro Code Violation.
No bro shall peruse his Bros girl unless with expressed permission of the Bro.
The Questions
- Should Pacman be more pissed off at The Girl for leading him on then fuckin his friend? Or at Duchebag Dave for going fuckin a girl that his Bro clearly liked.
- Was Douchbag Dave in line? Nothing had yet officially happened between Pacman and The Girl. You snooze you loose principal.
- Douchebag Dave offered an apology “…I hope this doesn’t affect our friendship”. Should Pacman forgive Douchebag Dave?
- What should Pacman do about The Girl ?
I want your opinion.
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That is as they say amongst the BRO’s F.U.C.K.E.D up. Douchebag should get a beat down and be disowned from the bro’s club. There are just too many girls out there -’ ratio 1:8 guys to girls – for a bro (short for brother) to be eating off another bro’s plate. I speak from having been in the same situation and unfortunately the feeling amongst my bros was that this is unacceptable. The girl full of **it and should by no means have swopped hey steak, but rules are rules and all bros no what’s up.
My sentiments exactly!
Douchbag really fucked up.
you don’t do that shit to your bro of years for a girl you’ve known for 3 weeks.
especially in this city!!
Needless to say The Girl is a write off.
The Answers
1. Should Pacman be more pissed off at The Girl for leading him on then fuckin his friend? Or at Duchebag Dave for going fuckin a girl that his Bro clearly liked.
Pacman cannot be pissed off at the girl. She made her choice fair and square, given the nature of the 2 guys, and the personalities conveyed…she chose the one she was more attracted to. And we as PUA’s know that girls lead guys on…its in their naure. HOWEVER: Dave is an asshole, and has shown that he is such a poor desperate soul that if he gets a chance with he’s mates target that he’ll take it. He’s obviously kak at cold approaches and meeting girls on his own that he has taken to being a social shark. In my old sarge group he would get immediate disdain and find himself in the cold outside of a great group of wingmen.
2. Was Douchbag Dave in line? Nothing had yet officially happened between Pacman and The Girl. You snooze you loose principal.
He was out of line. Wingmen do whatever they can to get their mates to close with their targets. If someone has found what they think is the perfect target ie. a girl suited to him lookswise / personality / intelligence etc. then its his friends duties to make sure he has a chance with this girl.
3. Douchebag Dave offered an apology “…I hope this doesn’t affect our friendship”. Should Pacman forgive Douchebag Dave?
No. Douchebag dave is gonna get a misconstrued idea of what is acceptable behaviour. The fact that he’s appologising means he already acknowledges that he fucked up. So he knew he was in the wrong but pursued he’s own desperation anyway.
4. What should Pacman do about The Girl ?
I think it was Tyler Durden that said dont cry over spilt milk. If you’ve lost your chance its easier to create attraction with any of 100 new girls than to try and regain a girl youve lost. Besides….Ill give her a skip just to prove a point to Douchedave.
You cant claim girls, it comes down to consensual liking. Dave might have also liked this girl, just cause his buddy said it first doesn’t matter. That girl doesn’t belong to you until you’ve been with her. If pacman had hooked up with her then I its just not on but it was still open game. What if Pacman go’s around liking more then one girl and tells his friends should they just back off because he claimed them first.
My best mate and I have an open thing regarding this, we dont ever claim girls cause we often like the same chick, we can say we like her but we dont back off unless something has already gone down. It works, cause theres no resentment and its fun.
Guys must stop claiming girls, there are so many out there. The girl and d-dave obviously like each-other.
Its just a girl. Dont claim girls!!!
P.S. The same buddy of mine also always says girls like him, and then most of the time they end up with me, its the game. not the claim.
Pacman didn’t claim this girl. he told Dave (his good friend ) that he really liked the girl and that she could possibly be GF material.
and if Dave was a stranger it would have been understandable, you win some you loose some right?
But this was his BRO! even you have to admit..Allies share a different set of rules to strangers.
yeah, The Girl obviously likes D-Dave…thats not in depute.
Dave could have done the honorable thing and said this to Pacman instead of being acting like and underhanded toss.
Grabbing your bros date on the ass while he ain’t looking is just plain disrespectful.
i agree with ‘Dowhat you do’ about 1 things; just because you say you like a girl it doesn’t mean she’s off the market (that’s claiming), because then you could say you like a whole bunch of girls and nobody else would be allowed to go for them (that’s called cockblocking) – although if I bring a girl that i’m interested in to my crew… until such a point that I have tried and failed – the only thing they should be trying to do is assist my plight and not dog me like the wasted Douchebag Dave. At least have the decency to tell me that the honey showed interest in you before you go for the kill; rather than score her first and then tell me that your dick just slipped into her nani because she asked for it (that is called backstabbing) and if I want to get stabbed in the back I’d go to some random assholes and fuck with their girlfriends… we’re bros for that reason.
If dave was my closest homey and this happened. I would be personally disappointed till I wake up in the morning. Now if I had hooked with this girl and then he does it, there would be huge issues. What if he is meant to be with this girl and I’m not, there are only so many people we are compatible with in this world. Be a man!
, girls are scandalous. Try again. Step up your game and tap first.
Although I do agree, at some point in time d-dave should have to p-man that he was interested too. d-dave will get his thou, it always comes back around in the most mysterious ways.
I have a new topic for u. I had a good friend (who is a girl) over on friday with her buddy, Id already slept with my girl buddy, and this night I hooked up with the friend and her. Took them both home for some heavy petting. Now their fighting. :/
Not everyone is meant to play the game, its cold hearted at times. No room for rules.
Dowhat you do – you work under strange friendship ethics, maybe you meant aquantance because it certainly doesnt sound like a friend (especially in the ps. part) ……and I know that you know that everything youve just typed will be frowned upon by most people inside the pickup community, outside of the community, hell: probably most girls will tell you the bro’s before ho’s code stands.
I think few things have been as black and white, reg of weg, straightforward clear as the duties of a wingman: YOUR WINGMAN IS THERE TO HELP YOU GET LAID!…(quite the opposite to jumping in on your friends and trying to make them look dumb, losing their respect and lowering your own value)
LOL thats right MissionMan. I like your take on that shit.
All Dave had to do was show some decency and lay it down for Pacman.
if you introduce a girl your interested in to your boys, every single one of them is an immediate wingman from then on.
It takes two to tango. I may be a woman, but these generic Barbie doll types who seem to get their self assurance by opening their legs to as many guys as possible reall, really piss me off. They give chicks a BAD name.
Pacman sounds nice. Way too nice to have either of these retards in his life. I say he lets them both go and have a nice relationship filled with infidelity. Because if a relationship starts as an affair – let’s get real here – it doesn’t hold much hope for a monogamous union. If she is willing to run off with a bloke who nicks a girl his friend likes, she has no brain. And if Dave the Dick or whatever he is called is willing to run off with a girl who so far had liked his friend but changed her mind in ten seconds (and will again), then they deserve each other.
Seriously, Mr PacMan sounds way too nice for these assholes. He is lucky he saw their true colours and can tell them to get fucked. He’ll be the better man. They’ll both come back crying with excuses and a venereal disease and he will hopefully have found a much nicer chickie by then who actually gives a damn about the dude’s feelings.
Skaroooo those tossers.
Ok. If the girl got introduced to the group, true they should be repping you. Where do we draw the line in how long you have to mac until you just arent gonna get anywhere.
I assumed the girl was a mutual friend or someone they already knew. If p-man brought her in thou, d-dave was being scandalous and we should leave the scandalousness for the ladies.
I have to agree with Steristumpie on this one.
@Do what you do : those are some pretty “every man for himself” type rules. whats the use of having friends then?
as for your girl situation well…I woudlnt have gone there man. in my opinion The Bro Code sometimes extends to your “bro” gurls but thats just me.
Essentially I dont think “wingmen” exist. I have my homeys but dont need any of them to get girls. If you need your friends to get girls then you are way to nice to be in the game. Take her to dinner win her heart and then introduce her to your friends.
Ive made too many mistakes regarding topics like these so I wouldn’t take advice from me anyway.
I live ‘in the moment’ not ‘for the moment’.
Your right essentially thou, dave f’d up, he was scandalous. I wouldn’t trust him again. (and this is how we grow).
Arh breaking the Gentlemen’s code, shouldn’t be done but when it has been like in this case, lessons need to be learned and consequence suffered. The severity well that’s for the friends to decide but trust is a hard thing to rebuild even if it expected and not articulated. It is not necessary to have had shaken the hand of Sinatra to know what the code entails, the done thing would have been to let that one go.
If the Bro is not a PUA, he doesn’t have a chance with my target.
If he is, he’ll ask if he can take over if AND ONLY IF she fits better into his taste.
To a true friend, any 1 girl does not carry so much value as to destroy the friendship between 2 bro’s (bro’s before ho’s). For this reason he wouldn’t take what I wan’t, and I wouldn’t deny him something I don’t really want – Live and let live guys…
But to the point -
1) Pacman and Dave aimed for 1 girl, she juggled 2 guys. 2>1, it’s more her fault than Daves.
2) Dave was entitled to steal her because he CAN, but as a friend he SHOULDN’T.
3) It’s easier to ask forgiveness than permission, but it’s a lot worse being denied forgiveness than permission. You’re not on a timer Dave, ask BEFORE you start working.
4) Dave doesn’t sound like a good friend/bro/person capable of suitable social interaction. I would cut him loose and let him go. Refer to (1) – she’s more guilty than Dave, so it should be logical..
Don’t let my JynX you
I thinks shes a whore…a two bit whore…playing mates against each other is never cool. I dont care how tingly her fanny got when douchebag dave touched her arse!!
I think Douche Bag Dave isnt a friend in the first place and thanks for putting it like that Holly Vegas, that chick is a complete Whore for Leading Pacman into this and making him look like a d00s in front of his mates.
Down with Douche Bag dave and the whore who went home with him!
Nice post, reminds me a of similar situation a couple years back with mates of mine, but in my group of friends the CODE is strong, non of that nonsense is allowed!
there was an update of events that i wanted to write about but never got around to it.
basically douche bag dave and pacman became friends again.
the chick… disappeared never to be seen again.
it goes to show that some friend ships survive even with the worst of mistakes.
I think pacmans attitude helped. he is the bigger man in this. certainly gained my respect.
where did you find my blog?
The bottom line here, is that Dave and Pacman are mates, and Pacman would have blatently let Dave know he’s keen on her and she was his target. For Dave to then break ‘honour amoungst men’ and pull her then he is either an official dick, or just a very bad friend. Mates who are close dont pull that kind of shit on each other.. however competing PUA’s might – as they’re trying to prove a point or get one up on the other. There is another famous saying though, and that is ‘all is fair in love and war’ so perhaps its surival of the fittest and Dave was in fact the king dick in this scenario and its a wake-up call for Pacman to close his targets quicker. As for the chick, if she’s that easy then she’s probably had more pricks than a dart board so its a blessing in disguise for Pacman and a bout of Herpes for Dave.
That is officially bullsh*t! Douchebag Dave (no relation) is a dead-man walking. He deserves a huge hiding. Friends especially must tread ultra carefully around romances. Sure Bros before Hos and all that but at the end of the day it’s about respect. One of those unwritten rules. Same applies if you break up… Your Bro is only allowed to make a move after three months and only if said Bro is still on speaking terms with the ex. None of this waiting in the wings bullcrap.
Answers:
1)Equal hate here for both The Girl and DouchebagDave. That’s just not cricket. Let us know if Dave gets a hiding which he definitely deserves.
2)He is way out of line, it was far too soon to know if anything was going to happen. If you try the Snooze, You lose principal with your Bros then you deserve to be kicked out the clan.
3)Hell no – he is banished thanks to his selfishness.
4) Move on, plenty more fish in the sea. Besides, a girl that gets taken so quickly isn’t worth wasting time over.
interesting ending to this story.
it happend over a year ago now.
dave and pac are still friends.
the girl disappeard never to be seen again a few weeks after the incident.
dave apologised and the rest was history.
the true meaning on bros before hoes.
she could have damaged their friendship but i guess pac wasnt willing to let some girl do that.
the rules still stand..but sometimes we do fuck up and break em.
I say be done with the girl AND the Dave-dude, unless he can sufficiently (and believably) validate his extreme violation of our internationally recognized set of predetermined bro-rules.
Otherwise, Pacman could always get his own back, and start spreading STD stories…
It’s not cricket, but neither is Tennis.
This guy is a douchebag! When me and mates go sarging, before we approach the group we pick our targets and if i like my mates chick and he likes mine then we give each other a look that sais lets switch.
Body Language does wonders. Walk confidently and you will be bothered by girls approaching you all night! (True Story)