Millions of people are are finding love online these days. Its convenient its quick and it makes it easier to find people you have stuff in common with. I too have an online dating profile.
One of the most difficult things is writing a little BIO about yourself. There are many ways to approach this, im only going to get into one method…The Solidgame way.
Here is a copy of what I wrote for my online dating profile.
I hope you can draw some inspiration from it.
A few months ago I found out on twitter about a new TV show about to hit South African televisions. The show is called MAN. The show is about the love lives of 4 Cape Townian guys Henri Slier, Kaizer Tsosane, Trevor Gow and Maurice Levin.
It was subsequently postponed due to SABC 3’s cricket commitments (ENG vs RSA: which South Africa won btw ).
They later got a new airdate! 22 January 2010 on SABC 3. That’s is in a few days. So just to bring you up to speed, here is what has happened between last few months to now.
OK, before I begin there are 2 questions that I would like to ask you. Are you of the opinion that a guy should instantly see all you have to offer and you shouldn’t have to work for it? You are not satisfied with your current dating life, you want more but you don’t feel that you should change or adjust your behaviour?
If your answer is YES to ANY of these questions, I kindly request that you close my website and move on.
Oh, you still here, Great! lets begin.
For many months there has been a common theme amongst my single female friends with regards to dating. They always tell me how difficult it is to meet a decent guy! A few theories have come up about this.
The most popular one is this. Some say it’s a Cape Town phenomenon, the fact being that the ratio of single men to women in this town is something like 3:1 and that even if you do meet a handsome successful man who has his shit together… he is either married, has a girlfriend with whom he is loyal to or… is completely gay.
Truth bomb: I think most women use that as an excuse!
There is no doubt it is difficult to meet someone special but to cite lack of numbers as the problem is bullshit in my opinion.
I am friends with a lot of men that are accomplished, smart, have their shit together and are completely single and complaining about the same thing about women. The whole point of this blog was to help them out and hopefully you too.
Why take advice from a guy on how to meet guys?
Insider trading is illegal on Wall Street cause it gives you an unfair advantage.
It’s not illegal in dating!
Over the years I have been approached by women I kind of have an idea of what works and doesn’t in my opinion. It’s very subjective but I’m pretty sure you will find something that helps your game.
I’ve also pooled together some of the opinions of my girlfriends who have met their man and advice on what worked for them.
In my non-scientific research (just basic common sense) I found that much of the same advice I would give to men is the same as the advice I would recommend to women. Take a read at the stuff I’ve written for guys, you might find something that works for you.
GET YOUR MIND RIGHT:
It is OK for a woman to approach a man! It shows that you are confident and that you know what you want. REAL men really like that. this also acts as a filter as this scares off boys.
Gone are the days of Jane Austen. The fantasy romance books are just that…..fantasy.
Knights don’t wear shining armour anymore. They rock Springleap* t-shirts and ride scooters and such.
The bitch shield is a time management tool to most women. After getting hit on a few dozen times a day every day, it proves to be the most effective way of warding off the barrage of boredom and jerks.
The only problem with the bitch shield is that it sometimes wards off truly decent guys who don’t really know how to approach you.
BUT there is a line…and most women know this! Hiding behind your bitch shield to protect yourself from being hurt, rejected etc. it’s a security mechanism to protect your insecurity.
Your bitch shield does not give a Mr Right a chance to see your funny, smart, caring and charming personality.
Be prepared to step outside your comfort zone. Only YOU are your own worst enemy.
I give this same advice to men.
Its REAL.
It’s doesn’t really go away
Get over yourself.
DEAL with it.
Simplistic, I know. Let me explain.
It’s REAL: Accept that it is there! Don’t try pawn it off.
NO, you Don’t know if he is gay until you go and find out.
NO, you DON’T know that he has a girlfriend until you find out.
NO! he is NOT too hot for you.
It’s doesn’t really go away: It’s human nature to want to be accepted. So the fear of rejection doesn’t really go away. KNOW THIS. Hey..Love is a risk but the rewards outweigh them.
Get over yourself: You will come up with all kinds of excuses not to make that first move. Suppress that inner-wuss. YOU are your own worst enemy. Purge those negative thoughts.
DEAL with it: We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them. – Einstein.
Learn how to be confident if you aren’t already.
Like I said before, the very fact that you approach a man shows him that you are confident.
After this, it’s a matter of being congruent with this. Remain confident during the rest of the interaction.
Another simple way to display confidence is to maintain a fantastic posture.
Point: Emasculating the man isn’t a sign of confidence!
I’ve had incidences where a girl approaches me, and then proceeds to throw an inappropriate amount of insults at me. Now I know she was just trying to flirt with me but she went too far and turned out to just have a bitchy attitude. As cute as she was…she was just too much work. I moved on.
For a normal guy’s point of view it is difficult enough to approach a woman that seems friendly let alone one that has the “im-too-hot-for-you-but-you-can-try” face on.
If you are interested in the guy, why not make it easy for him!
Sometimes all a guy needs to approach YOU is a warm smile and eye contact. Little does he know, you actually approached him. This is a passive approach. As a guy, sometimes that’s all I need to go say hello.
A smiling and eye contact during the conversation would make him less nervous and more natural. But you already knew this…right?
So you have approached and you are talking to him…do you find that you are the only one talking? I know when some women are nervous they tend to talk a lot. They try to fill the silences with something.
The danger here is that you come off as someone who just wants to talk about themselves. This is rather frustrating for guy.
A good technique is to ask him leading questions. Allow him to talk about himself, helps with his ego and confidence if he is a nervous type guy.
Try not to have typical “where are you from?” “what do you do?” type linear conversations. Sure these questions are important to getting to know a person. But pepper in random interesting questions. If you don’t know what questions, prepare some before hand so you have them ready whenever.
Remember, you are having fun!
No No, not what I mean, get your mind out the gutter.
Men have this thing built inside of them that I like to call “The Superman Complex”.
They love to DO stuff for women. You have heard some of them say “For You, I’d Kill The Bull”.
They like to feel as though they have saved the day or at least helped save the day.
Knowing this can really help you with the approach.
Stuff like asking his opinion on something asking his advice on a subject that is typically attributed to men.
Asking him to recommend something is also a great conversation starter.
A few Saturdays ago a girl asked me what English football team I would recommend for her to support. I thought that was brilliant!
I suggested Arsenal…denounced Manchester United. We had fun debating why…she amazingly asked me for my Facebook details she we could continue the debate. I was picked-up.
She was confident, fun and at ease. Quite refreshing.
Perhaps in later posts shall get into the more technical tricks and tips. This should be enough to get you thinking.
As always, your opinions are most welcome.
Remember ladies, YOU are the prize! Give him a chance to impress you.
*SpringLeap : is just an example. They do not endorse no disagree with this msg. they got some nice tshirts thoughMany of us have many first date nightmare stories. Some stories more horrid than others. I myself have had some nightmares. Forgetting my wallet…calling her by the wrong name several times…pouring wine all over her new dress. Yeah the list is endless.
I came across this story on one of my favourite sites, http://www.lamebook.com. Its got to be one of the funniest first date experiences I have ever read.
What is your opinion on dating someone you work with and why?
I posed a question to some friends of mine via Titter and Facebook. We spend a large chunk of our lives working. Some people work 12 hour days and most weekends. It is almost inevitable that people would hook up with those they see every day, their colleagues. It’s not a surprise to anyone that the majority of the answers I received were a resounding NO DON’T DO IT!
VENT ALERT! Oh, you don’t want to “play that game”? Think the perfect guy should instantly see all you have to offer, and you shouldn’t have to work for it? . I’ve met a few guys who said they don’t want to play that game either. Women should flock to them because they are nice, and sweet. No points for guessing how that’s working out. It’s not about “nice”, it’s about how the world is!
If what you are doing is yielding you the results that you want in your dating life..then more power to you. If not, perhaps you need to change the way you think.
LIFE DOES NOT OWE YOU SHIT!
Today I discovered something interesting on twitter. There is a new TV show about to hit South African televisions @ 21h30 on Friday, November 3. The show is called Man. The show is about the love lives of 4 Cape Townian guys Henri Slier, Kaizer Tsosane, Trevor Gow and Maurice Levin.
August is Women’s month. I got thinking the other day about what I appreciate about the women in my life. I spend a lot of time on this blog talking about women , so this is a short summary of the various lessons and highlights about the women in my life over the years.
Sure God created man before woman. But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece.
Mom – You taught me an appreciation for a strong women and how to cook. Thank you. Just like you said…these points have served me well.
My sisters – You taught me the importance of fully owning the role of big brother. I’m no longer afraid of leading the women in my life and knowing when to sit back when it’s not about me.
Mari – You taught me how to kiss. Less tongue you said…take the mood into consideration..you said.
Rosanne – You are completely nuts and unpredictable. Despite your stormy disposition I learned how to remain strong and steadfast for you. A skill I use throughout other areas of my life. “Just Be Cool”
Charlize – Your commitment issues made me feel better about my own. I thought I was messed up until I met your ass.
Joey – How was I supposed to know that you wanted to be tied up? I’m not a mind reader.
Janine – I was wondering how long it would take you to realise that your wiles didn’t work on me. You are a beautiful girl..certainly… but you are going to need much more than a smile, wink and a mini skirt to wrap me around your little finger.
Shanna – I was impressed when you approached me to chat. That took balls…especially because I was standing there with a group of my buddies after the rugby game. Glad you liked your reward.
Dida – I thought it was cute you got upset at me because my birthday party had more girls than guys present. I didn’t understand that.
Mich – You let me flirt with you for hours without telling me…you were dating someone…and that she was hot!
Margo - I don’t think your daughter would have appreciated your attempts to seduce me…despite your boyfriend saying he wouldn’t mind watching.
Tash – Glad you came out. I should have know it when I caught you checking out the same girl I was on several occasions.
Marie – Your douchebag boyfriend and looser friends threatened me for hanging out with you….doesn’t he know we worked together? I can’t believe your now married to that low life. You deserve so much better.
Liz – You should be more discreet when blowing your boyfriend…when you KNOW I’m in the other room. At least close the gawd damn door!
Anne – You keep saying you cannot separate sex and feelings. In the same breath you mention how your fuck-buddy is selfish in bed.
Dine – You were one of the very few girls that I would have no problem calling my girl.
Lena – I warned you not to fall for me…I wasn’t the guy for you….yet you did. Now I’m the douche bag that broke your heart. I understand that I have to be the asshole in your eyes in order for you to get over me…and its ok.
Lolie – Flirting for weeks, only to tell me you had a boyfriend. A little unfair don’t you think ? It was fun..but I can’t do that anymore.
Agatha – ..knowing what I do and my blog…you still think you can use me to make my friend and wingman jealous? Thought you were smarter than that.
Sonia– You really shouldn’t feel self-conscious about your age..you got more life that most of these youngsters I know.
Maja– Asking me for advice on how to have a threesome with those twins that you liked…had to have been the most interesting conversation we have had…Ever.
Juliana – Sorry I had to end it….You got way too loud after 2 glasses of wine…I couldn’t handle it when the people around us had to listen in to your monologues about your preferences in the sack.
Phillipa –Your boyfriend is one of my oldest friends. I think it SUCKS that you have to make him have to choose between us. He now feels guilty hanging with me because you are worried that I’m going introduce him to someone new. You would have never met him if I didn’t introduce you to him that night. You need to trust him, even if you don’t trust me. Hes a good guy.
Robyn – …I don’t understand why you kept me from knowing you were seeing someone…despite having spoken about our love lives as friends. Just found that a little odd.
Nadia – You dismiss men for the most insignificant things then turn around and complain about the lack of men around.
Holly – Thanks for taking care of me when I clearly partied over my limit…I cant believe you gave me a bath! WTF
“How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.” – Oscar Wilde
Due to the sheer volume of cool places in Cape Town I decided to have a second list of Cape Town’s Best First Date Venues. TheScud has graciously volunteered to put together the second volume. Feel free to send us your recommendations.
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