Yeap, there is a bug in the matrix, a kink in my game, a crack in wall of SolidGame. I’ve known there was something wrong for some time now but didn’t realise exactly what it was.
The flaw in my Game is Group Theory. Stay with me, stay with me. I’ll explain what this is. Group Theory comes into play when after several months of meeting people, meeting friends of friends and meeting your wingman’s friends and their friends of friends, you begin to travel in groups of 5 or more. Normally a beginner need not worry about this as they would only have to deal with 1 or 2 people. Every small gathering becomes a hive of activity. You often end up bouncing from one group to another but never really settling and having a long conversation with one particular person.
Group Theory Explained.
This can best be explained using levels sarging (actively meeting new people). The levels below are derivatives of Mystery’s theory on levels of sarging. Watch it here.
Level 1:
Approaching singles by yourself. I normally don’t do this unless it’s by chance or out of convenience. I prefer groups. This is just a personal preference.
Level 2:
Approaching couples or mixed sets by yourself. This is where I find my social kung fu works best. Get me a large group of people and I shall endeavour to have them eat out of my hand. It’s a great challenge and the main way I actually meet women.
Level 3:
Approaching groups with your own groups. I.E your out with friends, they are going to stay with your all night. You then go meet other groups of people and introduce them to your group of friends. This is called merging. Eventually at the end of the night you have this gigantic group of people getting to know each other. It’s much easier for you then to get to know anyone within the group because you are now one big tribe with you as the creator. You need great self-confidence to be able to do this.
You’ll you are here when you have groups of people calling you at random hours of the night asking where you are and what you are doing and who you are with. It’s pretty cool but in the beginning it will be a lot of pressure. Trust me on that.
If you actively meet people (people not just girls) for long enough you will most likely end up here.
The Problem:
Usually I’d invite a girl that I’m interested out as part of a group event. This way she gets to meet my friends and vice versa. This is normally after we have been out just by ourselves either earlier.
Sometimes the groups don’t gel very well with each other and so I spend so much time bouncing between the individuals in the group. I end up not spending enough time with the girl that I’m interested in. This often leads to her thinking in disinterested in her.
Also normally when you are the one that has organised the merge, you are, out of courtesy, stuck with the merged group. I don’t have as much freedom or flexibility to move on and do something else. Like a host leaving his own party.
The Solution:
I need to realise that I’m in the position where I get to meet new folk organically anyway. I don’t need to actively do the group merge.
I also need to organise smaller more manageable situations. The larger group merges are more effective when done rarely.
Get over myself! Who cares?! Who am I to think that these grown ass people need my presence to have a good time? ( don’t be afraid to put your own ego/pride in check )
We’ll see how this goes. I think I’ll have this fixed by summer.
“Are you listening to me boy? I’m giving you pearls here.”
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